Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pearls Before...

I am worried about whether or not I should be worried over the fact that the two people who are the first in the UK to catch the new trend in illnesses (that would be the swine flu for those visiting from Alpha Centauri) are from a small town far too close for comfort. A town where one of the Hobbit's friends stays as well.

But then I think that this is quite handy in terms of distracting everyone over the real pandemic (again, Alpha Centaurians, this would be the economic doodah, are you following?)

Conspiracy theories will no doubt flourish and spread as quick as the flu. There are so many people who die from the flu every year anyway, it is either going to get you or it isn't. I recall the avian flu that was going to wipe us out - are the 24 hour news channels so eager for something to fill the time with? I do have a slight issue over youngest Hobbit catching every cold which is going though. Who knows? Not us that is for sure. According to the *news* this flu can be beaten off with nothing more than soap and water and a skoosh of cleaner.

Monday, April 27, 2009

One Month Later

Or one month, three days to be exact. And how does it feel?

Honestly, I can't explain it, has it not sunk in properly, is this a stage in the grieving process? In another life during a brief and mistaken period of nurse training I studied K├╝bler-Ross, or rather I read a book or two and something stuck. In the far, dusty corners of my mind, the whole five stages of grief thing got clogged in amongst the trivia.

I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about it but I seem to have accepted things. Well, I've not had much time to dwell on my dad dying. There is still so much to do and I don't have the heart to do anything. This isn't because of his passing but more to do with the fact that I realise how reliant people are on me to do everything and in a moment of self-pity I wonder who I can rely on.

The photo was taken in the place we chose to put dad's ashes, a place he was fond of, where he visited so many times before. A place we can visit whenever we want. Because living people are selfish like that.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Return Of Normality (Or What Passes For Normality)

This has felt like the longest Easter holiday ever and although I enjoy our little days out and the entertainment that the Hobbits bring with them I am so glad Monday is back to school. Trying to get anything done while they are at home is impossible and I have oh so much to do. Such is life when so many people are relying on me.

Hopefully the fug will lift and I can get some kind of organisation going.
I'm still working my way through my father's papers and it stops me, every time I find a memento he has kept. A poem I wrote in Primary 4; a Christmas card I drew in 1980 (says so on the back in his hand writing); little notes he wrote; my Spelling and Dictation jotter from Primary 3; a photograph my mother took of me in very trendy 70s gear (hey I was three, give me a break.) I need to get things done, there are still assurance policies to find, but so far I have had no time to grieve. With each little piece I find, things he has kept neatly folded in amongst his papers, it brings back the feeling that I had things perhaps I should have said and didn't. But what is most important is that we knew how much we meant to each other.

Oh well this is turning morose for a Saturday evening. My life is so exciting, tv and 'puter - woohoo, don't hold me back.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Oh, I almost forgot

Hope you had a lovely day celebrating the chocolate egg laying rabbit. No wait. Um...the goddess of Spring (fertility) Eostre...no because that would admit that Easter actually follows the pagan idea of the full moon and all that...um...anyway...chocolate...yum, yum.

Remember, when listening to Pope Eggs Benedict preach about poverty that it could all be cured if he turned around, took a look inside the Vatican, and sold the riches they accumulated. I'm sure *that* wasn't quite what Jesus had in mind!

“‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?” - Eddie Izzard, and I kind of agree with him there.

I better stop now, whenever I quote Eddie Izzard, especially this year of "Darwin" I think of the book he had Darwin write called 'Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, you.' Sorry, cracks me up every time I think about it. I lead a small life. Ah.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There comes a point where I realise that the view the Hobbits have of the world is one I wish I saw. This morning, seemingly without reason, Eldest Hobbit decided to announce that as their Grandpa had been cremated that he *must* therefore be a Jedi! Because, after all, what happens to Jedi's once they die?

Yes, piped up Youngest Hobbit excited at the thought, and Grandpa fought bad people too!

And, adds Eldest Hobbit taking his idea further, he was flying about.

Okay, so my dad took part in a real war, without clones or furry Wookies to help and his planes were a little less brilliant than starfighters or tie-fighters. But the fact that the Hobbits have decided that this makes sense is so comforting. They might only have had seven years with him but they have decided between themselves, in those weird and long conversations they have in their room of a morning, that their Grandpa was definitely someone to look up to. And considering that they are short on the ground of decent male role models then those seven years count.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

God's Way Of Eking Out The Stupid

Here is a lady who visited Berlin Zoo one day and thought to herself "You know those polar bears look lonely, I'll go join them." So in she jumped.

You'll never guess what happened next. It is a real shocker. An utter surprise.

I know, who could have possibly guessed the outcome.

The zookeepers rescued her while the polar bears looked on rather bemused. Oh sure, they had a little chew, what carnivorous beastie wouldn't? I suppose she wasn't quite to their taste though. No one knows why she did it but hazarding a guess at her being a little touch of crazy would perhaps not be too far off the mark.

The devil on my shoulder, the one who speaks the clearest sometimes, prompts me to add that truly, I'd have left her in there. Really. She chose to jump in, she also then chose to swim back to be rescued when she realised she wasn't about to star in the remake of The Golden Compass. Idiot.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Does it sound *like a whisper*?


Is there such a thing as a professional revolutionary? Because every time these protests pop up the participants seem to be either all styled from the same place or they are the same people.

What would I know? If they feel so strongly about it, and lets face it the whole world is currently gubbed, then more power to them. I just wonder at them though, always looking for something to protest against - how do they support themselves? From the government they despise? The powers that be have never listened before and I doubt they ever will, especially now the gulf between *us* and *them* has never been greater.

Today I am feeling mostly "meh". And "meh" colours everything in bland.