Sunday, January 19, 2014

Keep On Swimming

It is dark days like this that make me think of restarting the other blog, the one where I parked my negative thoughts during the aftermath of my marriage break-up.  Because once the black cloud has me it is very hard, very hard to force a positive outlook and on nights like this, if it wasn't for the fact I have my sons, I would no longer be here.

That is a scary truth to acknowledge but I fear that for my own sake I must do so.  I'm always "fine", I'm always trying to smile through it but as times it gets so difficult.  I hate to be melancholy and to pick over the bones of what is wrong in an orgy of self pity but I just can't help it at times and if I hold on in there it will pass.

It's like the kiddie film when they say keep on swimming but I sometimes wonder how long I have to swim through the filthy, mucky stuff and when I will reach clear, blue water.

Friday, January 03, 2014

Being Selfish

For this is the year where I feel it is necessary to become a little more selfish without losing that which makes me.

Anyhoose - the West coast of Scotland (as well as the coast from Cornwall right up) has received a battering from the new year to say the least.  To illustrate perfectly -
This is how the pier at Millport normally looks...
Photo: Millport pier!
And this is how it looked today

And I should really be thinking of all those poor people stuck on the island, stomach churning as the waves get higher, wilder and closer to the front door.  Instead all I can think is - please let dad's bench survive!

Selfish yes but it means so much to have done something for him that he would have been so happy with that I want nothing to ruin it.  And that is that.

(Photos taken from the t'internet)