Thursday, December 31, 2015

True This

Meryl Streep, telling it like it is - should realise this truth earlier and save lots of time.

Maybe this should be my mantra for 2016 because, with just over an hour to go, I'm feeling distinctly meh about the whole New Year thing.  I'm thinking Hogmanay is for the young (who can go out on the randan with friends) or for those with big family or friendly neighbours who can fill the house with the party spirit.  It doesn't happen much now but there isn't much point sitting by yourself waiting on the bells when nothing really changes, it's just another day tomorrow.

Like I said, feeling meh.

I'm waiting for a good year, I've been waiting an awfully long time and no matter how hard I work at it I never quite seem to have a satisfactory sigh in my heart at this point of the year.  

The end of this year has been plagued with illnesses and I simply can't concentrate for more than five minutes on anything.  I shall remedy it, there is only me who can do this. 

2016 can be the year of acceptance...


Friday, December 25, 2015

The Day We Should All Switch Off

And here's me on the computer - larks.  I watched a tv programme that was literally two hours of a pair of Sami women walking in the snow, with reindeer and sleighs, travelling through the forest and I could think of nothing better than living that life.  I know, I think my brain has finally given up the ghost completely.

After the chaos over the past few months with illnesses, my pattern of being slightly (ahem) disorganised on the run up to the event that happens on the same day every single year, I mean it's not like Easter, tied to the pagan full moon.  Except this year it is.  Hold on, I've lost my train of thought (full speed, out of control and running out of tracks).

All in all I pared back, and it worked. To a point.  I wish I could have afforded more but at the same time my sons didn't want more.  Blessed to have raised non avaricious boys, they're happy with what they want and at least I managed to provide that (and a birthday on Tuesday, again, it's not like it arrives as a surprise).  I feel bad they only have me, no extended family bustling around a full table - then again we could have an extended family that's like my mum's family and that would not bring feelings of peace and goodwill at all.

And I dressed up the dog because he's very patient.  Chew sticks were involved.

I'm feeling very addled at the moment, I think that is clear. As though I've come to accept how circumstances are, but I'd like them to be better so this acceptance thing is a non-starter. It's only a week left of 2015 but I'm trying my best to make and keep at least one promise, that we can afford a holiday this year because the lack of break is obviously sending me dolally.  That probably sounds poncy (poncey?) and in danger of being middle-class "first world probems" but with everything that is happening, everything that has happened and general lack of luck - surely I can try for a week in the sun not having to cook or clean?

Perhaps my next post will be less erratic. Who knows? Who cares?

(I'm going to use this space to crow about the face that I was *right* about the Christmas Doctor Who episode with River Song - I knew it would lead back to the library, does it matter, to me it does!)

Saturday, December 19, 2015

This Is 44

Strange that it feels like a milestone when it is not really a noted birthday.  It does feel like one part of my life is closing, that where I make a family, raise children - I have my family, not exactly as I imagined being that it's just my boys and me.  The best laid plans and all that.  This must be how it's meant to be and I have to accept (although it's hard) that there will be no more babies.  It's strange that would affect me so much but it does.

So for my birthday off we went to Edinburgh - the school term finished absurdly early, I was expecting them to still be there until at least Wednesday.  Who makes up these holiday schedules?

After a lovely wander around the Portrait Gallery I was really disappointed that all the 'modern' paintings - of Alan Cummings, Ian Rankin etc. were stuck in the cafe so inaccessible.  Unless you want to wander up to the posh mummies and well-to-do pensioners sipping their lattes and stand over them as you try and appreciate the work.  Hmmn, don't know who thought that out but perhaps they were once responsible for the school timetables.

There was a giant painting of Muriel Grey which, as far as I'm concerned, could remain there but I'd have liked to been able to see the other paintings.  The only one we did manage to get a proper look at was the portrait of Alex Salmond, I think I prefer the one of Nicola Sturgeon though - I think that must be in Bute House?  I know the painting of Salmond is second on that link and Sturgeon's is eighth but the other work is so good it's worth a browse to get there.  For the life of me I cannot do portraits at all, to the point I avoid all humans in my artwork! (Also I came across a TV news piece on Nicola Sturgeon's portrait, it was unveiled along with one of Elaine C. Smith - seventh on the link - and Denise Mina - second last - only Elaine and Nicola were interviewed. Having seen Mina interviewed before I can only imagine she was a nippy sweetie over sharing space with two pro-independence women!)

The Portrait Gallery is a beautiful building and I love the gallery of stars although I couldn't get a decent pic of it as it was low lighting and judging by their official photo it's something that needs to be admired in real life.  At the moment there are some really good displays - not only was the 'Women of Nineteenth Century Scotland' inspiring, it was amazing to see how many women were included in 'Remembering the Great War'. I had forgotten my notebook, frustrating as there were so many names I wanted to take note of for further research.

So out of the gallery and off to the Christmas market which gets progressively more expensive every year, £7.50 for a quick birl on the rides is extortionate for most families, the food is over-priced for what it is which makes for a disappointing time if you've not a lot of spare money.

I dragged the boys all the way down to Holyrood looking for a jewellery shop that ended up being right at the top of the street where we began but it was a lovely walk, spending time with my sons, talking about everything.  None of us minded the trek at all and it meant Youngest could go to his favourite shop - Forbidden Planet. I desperately need some stocking fillers, they were ordered to find some things they'd like but couldn't.  Argh!  I'm running out of time!

Home to a Chinese take-away and hired Jurassic World to watch. I actually managed to pace myself so well that today hasn't been too bad on the pain scale and it seems to be mostly in the feet and ankles which is not as awful as the neck pain when it comes. I've not done much at all, a lazy Saturday letting my battery limp back to red (one day it will get to green) and doodling Zentangles. If this is 44 it's off to a mild yet pleasant start!

Edinburgh from the North Bridge
I know many say Sir Walter Scott would have been a unionist but reading this on the side of the Holyrood building yesterday makes me wonder...A quick translation is that while we can hold those in charge accountable when they are here but when they're down in London it's impossible. That's my main reason for supporting independence!

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Art Class Literally

This just perfectly encapsulates everything I feel about the system, especially as an outsider. Of all things, the arts should be open to all, accessible to all and yes I include all forms of writing although the piece mentions journalistic publishing, it's the same throughout. It's not what you know or how well you know it but who you know and how well off your parents are.

As it is so well written there is nothing more to add. Enjoy

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Etsy - Hoping It Doesn't Look Like I Made It With My Feet

Honestly, they were made by hand!

Took a deep breath and opened a little Etsy shop today for some of the decorations I made.  I decided on doing this rather than taking the usual Scout Christmas Fayre stall as it seemed less painful not knowing if people were looking at the items or dismissing them outright.  Oh yes, there are stats though...well there are stats on here too which is why I know no one is going to read this so I'll look on Etsy as another corner of the internet where I can face rejection.



I know I'm not particularly skilled, I enjoy making the items though and always sold a fair few at the stall.  This way I get to stay in bed this Saturday morning, hmmn, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all.

I called my shop "Crafty Auld Sew And Sew" which I thought amusing although the fact it reads as CraftyAuldSewAndSew without the spaces lessens the mild humour somewhat.  Plus people outside Scotland will neither know the meaning of auld or the play on words of "sew and sew".  Ahh, I give up!