Because The Best Christmas Film Isn't Die Hard Or It's a Wonderful Life

Fra-Gee-Lee. Must be from Italy.

The Day We Should All Switch Off

And here's me on the computer - larks.  I watched a tv programme that was literally two hours of a pair of Sami women walking in the snow, with reindeer and sleighs, travelling through the forest and I could think of nothing better than living that life.  I know, I think my brain has finally given up the ghost completely.

After the chaos over the past few months with illnesses, my pattern of being slightly (ahem) disorganised on the run up to the event that happens on the same day every single year, I mean it's not like Easter, tied to the pagan full moon.  Except this year it is.  Hold on, I've lost my train of thought (full speed, out of control and running out of tracks).

All in all I pared back, and it worked. To a point.  I wish I could have afforded more but at the same time my sons didn't want more.  Blessed to have raised non avaricious boys, they're happy with what they want and at least I managed to provide that (and a birthday on Tuesday, again, it's not like it arrives as a surprise).  I feel bad they only have me, no extended family bustling around a full table - then again we could have an extended family that's like my mum's family and that would not bring feelings of peace and goodwill at all.

And I dressed up the dog because he's very patient.  Chew sticks were involved.

I'm feeling very addled at the moment, I think that is clear. As though I've come to accept how circumstances are, but I'd like them to be better so this acceptance thing is a non-starter. It's only a week left of 2015 but I'm trying my best to make and keep at least one promise, that we can afford a holiday this year because the lack of break is obviously sending me dolally.  That probably sounds poncy (poncey?) and in danger of being middle-class "first world probems" but with everything that is happening, everything that has happened and general lack of luck - surely I can try for a week in the sun not having to cook or clean?

Perhaps my next post will be less erratic. Who knows? Who cares?

(I'm going to use this space to crow about the face that I was *right* about the Christmas Doctor Who episode with River Song - I knew it would lead back to the library, does it matter, to me it does!)

This Is 44

Strange that it feels like a milestone when it is not really a noted birthday.  It does feel like one part of my life is closing, that where I make a family, raise children - I have my family, not exactly as I imagined being that it's just my boys and me.  The best laid plans and all that.  This must be how it's meant to be and I have to accept (although it's hard) that there will be no more babies.  It's strange that would affect me so much but it does.

So for my birthday off we went to Edinburgh - the school term finished absurdly early, I was expecting them to still be there until at least Wednesday.  Who makes up these holiday schedules?

After a lovely wander around the Portrait Gallery I was really disappointed that all the 'modern' paintings - of Alan Cummings, Ian Rankin etc. were stuck in the cafe so inaccessible.  Unless you want to wander up to the posh mummies and well-to-do pensioners sipping their lattes and stand over them as you try and appreciate the work.  Hmmn, don't know who thought that out but perhaps they were once responsible for the school timetables.

There was a giant painting of Muriel Grey which, as far as I'm concerned, could remain there but I'd have liked to been able to see the other paintings.  The only one we did manage to get a proper look at was the portrait of Alex Salmond, I think I prefer the one of Nicola Sturgeon though - I think that must be in Bute House?  I know the painting of Salmond is second on that link and Sturgeon's is eighth but the other work is so good it's worth a browse to get there.  For the life of me I cannot do portraits at all, to the point I avoid all humans in my artwork! (Also I came across a TV news piece on Nicola Sturgeon's portrait, it was unveiled along with one of Elaine C. Smith - seventh on the link - and Denise Mina - second last - only Elaine and Nicola were interviewed. Having seen Mina interviewed before I can only imagine she was a nippy sweetie over sharing space with two pro-independence women!)

The Portrait Gallery is a beautiful building and I love the gallery of stars although I couldn't get a decent pic of it as it was low lighting and judging by their official photo it's something that needs to be admired in real life.  At the moment there are some really good displays - not only was the 'Women of Nineteenth Century Scotland' inspiring, it was amazing to see how many women were included in 'Remembering the Great War'. I had forgotten my notebook, frustrating as there were so many names I wanted to take note of for further research.

So out of the gallery and off to the Christmas market which gets progressively more expensive every year, £7.50 for a quick birl on the rides is extortionate for most families, the food is over-priced for what it is which makes for a disappointing time if you've not a lot of spare money.

I dragged the boys all the way down to Holyrood looking for a jewellery shop that ended up being right at the top of the street where we began but it was a lovely walk, spending time with my sons, talking about everything.  None of us minded the trek at all and it meant Youngest could go to his favourite shop - Forbidden Planet. I desperately need some stocking fillers, they were ordered to find some things they'd like but couldn't.  Argh!  I'm running out of time!

Home to a Chinese take-away and hired Jurassic World to watch. I actually managed to pace myself so well that today hasn't been too bad on the pain scale and it seems to be mostly in the feet and ankles which is not as awful as the neck pain when it comes. I've not done much at all, a lazy Saturday letting my battery limp back to red (one day it will get to green) and doodling Zentangles. If this is 44 it's off to a mild yet pleasant start!

Edinburgh from the North Bridge

I know many say Sir Walter Scott would have been a unionist but reading this on the side of the Holyrood building yesterday makes me wonder...A quick translation is that while we can hold those in charge accountable when they are here but when they're down in London it's impossible. That's my main reason for supporting independence!

Etsy - Hoping It Doesn't Look Like I Made It With My Feet

Honestly, they were made by hand!

Took a deep breath and opened a little Etsy shop today for some of the decorations I made.  I decided on doing this rather than taking the usual Scout Christmas Fayre stall as it seemed less painful not knowing if people were looking at the items or dismissing them outright.  Oh yes, there are stats though...well there are stats on here too which is why I know no one is going to read this so I'll look on Etsy as another corner of the internet where I can face rejection.

Kidding.

Almost.

I know I'm not particularly skilled, I enjoy making the items though and always sold a fair few at the stall.  This way I get to stay in bed this Saturday morning, hmmn, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all.

I called my shop "Crafty Auld Sew And Sew" which I thought amusing although the fact it reads as CraftyAuldSewAndSew without the spaces lessens the mild humour somewhat.  Plus people outside Scotland will neither know the meaning of auld or the play on words of "sew and sew".  Ahh, I give up!

It's Been A Heck Of A Year

My favourite month, the month of my birth, my sons' birth, Christmas and all the Yuletide festivities and each year gets a little further away from that magical place.  Yet there is still something about December and the dark days (that suit my mood of late). 

I'd much prefer for a cold, frosty month than the wind and icy rain of today.  The skies are so clear, cerulean blue sharpness.  

I feel sad the boys do not experience a large family Christmas but then again the ones I went to were never that good anyway.  I suppose if invited, they would experience whatever happens at their father's new family home with her family but they don't want to.  Youngest is very particular with what happens and I love that about him.  Eldest pretends he isn't that bothered but truly is.

We have a small family and it has been another year in the washing machine, but when we come out the other side we will still, no matter how much more we have to take, we will still be rich in love.

The List

Hallowe'en  - done
Bonfire Night - done
First illness of winter (tummy bug) - done x2

Next up - the big one - Christmas!  And for the first time in ages I'm actually looking forward to it.  I've bought the boys' big presents already, most of their little presents (which makes it sound like a lot is coming their way but little presents mean books and other inexpensive things.)

I've also agreed to sell some things at a craft sale at the Scout hall.  Now I just have to make the damn things I'm going to sell - Christmas ornaments I think.

Trivia keeps me too busy sometimes.

I add this for no other reason than I want to remind myself what we need to do more of.

Sometimes I Amaze Myself

It doesn't often happen, and when it does it is usually by accident but sometimes I achieve something I thought impossible.

Be it having to grin and bear it while spending time with an ex who purposefully keeps me strapped for cash (for the sake of the Hobbits this was on Christmas morning, it doesn't last long as he is on a tight leash and for that I can be grateful.) Be it through passing an OU course I thought I had completely blown thanks to an exam where I was the first to leave.

Considering my brain is addled by the after effects of too much cold medicine and the Christmas hangover those are the only two examples I give at the moment simply because I am concerned with the latter.

Because I passed my history course. And I really didn't think I would. And I am very smugly pleased with myself. And it doesn't happen that often. And now I am repeating myself.

Anyhoo, the course is done, I do not need to resit. Checking the results page online I got an average score, very few people did any better than I did. So that horror of being the first to get up, hand my paper in and leave was not justified. Keep to the question. Worked.

I have been advised by a friend that what I should take is Vitamin C tablets, orange juice and Lucozade. She also mentioned rest despite the fact that, as a parent, she should know that is but a dream.

Yum

Starting a new tradition. Earlier this month I bought a special cake mould, didn't quite get the sponge mix right, followed a recipe I already had instead of doing the one that came with the mould. Nevermind as the Hobbits had a great time decorating and then demolishing.

Did I Mention?

To say hello to Jack and Rory, our two new fish. I've been trying to get a decent photo of them since getting them and as seen here, I'm still trying! However they are very interested in the decorations.

It Was A Merry Christmas

Squish

Despite an attempt to foil the spirit of Christmas by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (see other blog for lowdown, very low down) I decided to change plans and took the Hobbits into Edinburgh today rather than next weekend.

Good idea, bad idea? Well it isn't going to get any less busy for sure. I've always had a trip to the German Market as a birthday treat but the Hobbits' last swimming lesson is on that evening and I don't want them to miss that. So off we went.

I do like the atmosphere but certain people seem to lack the generosity and kindness of spirit that should go with Christmastime (STOP LAUGHING I'M SERIOUS!)

Anyhoo eldest Hobbit was most unimpressed at the amount of shoving he was experiencing. Only two shots on the Helter Skelter would ease the upset.

It was only after I got home that I realised youngest Hobbit must have brushed against a display in the WHSmith we were in and spent the day with a bright red and yellow "2 for £4" sticker on his bottom. Well at least I got the joke.

How Was It For You?

Fate has a way, sometimes, of dealing you up a hand you deserve. I didn't have the Christmas spirit in the usual bucket load, so for my Christmas I got a stinking awful cold. Which has lasted until Boxing Day and now, at 9pm, is still going strong. Serves me right for being so bah-humbug this year really.

Short and sweet, I am watching telly, feeling sorry for myself and although I got a new camera for Christmas I haven't even taken it out the box to try it out which is so unlike me. I did take photos with old faithful though and will post them here as soon as my head stops aching like it is about to explode.

Still managed to cook an excellent Christmas dinner though. Hope no one at it got an extra present of this cold (evil smile.)

Who'd a thunk it?

That Christmas spirit would be found by helping out at the Primary 7 party?

Well, surrounded by a crowd of screaming, excited 10-11 year olds, enough tinsel and decorations to sink a ship, it is hard not to get carried away. And yes, dancing was involved, not only that but traditional Scottish country dancing - oh the English don't know what they are missing if they haven't been hurled round a room by the Dashing White Sergeant (name of a dance, not the dancer.)

I have some food for thought as well this Christmas, something to mull over while getting on with things. Someone I am related to, though you wouldn't think it if you saw us together, announced in her card to my parents that she had returned to live with her parents in a manner that suggested she has split from her husband. Now, this could be an occasion to gloat. Her mother called my wedding a "pauper's wedding" as we chose not to have the big white version but one with only a couple of guests, but in a location special to us. Hell mend us but we chose to spend our money on the honeymoon! (Touring around the Alps in the lovely summertime, highly recommended!)

So that is what the mother (my aunt) said. It was also considered that as this cousin was engaged before I had met Husband and I married first that I had rushed into it to beat her and would divorce. Hmmmm, doesn't work that way does it?

Which is proof that it is not how you marry but why you marry. I always thought cousin treated her other half appallingly, and that is not because she is of an odd nature towards me. He was one of those soft, gentle souls and on more than one occasion she shouted at him in front of the family, more embarrassing for us to witness really. She also said they didn't argue which is complete bull. There is nothing like a good argument to air any grievances and get them sorted out.

So there we have it. The breakdown of a marriage is sad, luckily there are no children involved, there will be no gloating from me but I hope she learns from this as she has lost a good husband.

Its beginning to look a lot like Edinburgh

I know, I know, you wait for one post and three come along at once I hear you say, or rather the one voice singing in the darkness who I know does read this (thank you Pewari!) Like I said, it is a busy month, what with helping the Hobbits write a total of 64 Christmas cards, the whole concept of "choose who you want to send a card to" completely bypassing them. Why not send a card to everyone!

And we are still receiving cards from girls unknown, addressed to either hobbit, and always signed off 'Love'. God help us come the teenage years. Worst is I can't write cards back, the conversations go as follows;

"Hobbit, who is Banana?"

"Um, she is my friend."

"She isn't on your class list, what class is she in?"

"Don't know."

"Wouldn't it be nice to send her a card back?"

"She is in Primary 2, or maybe 3."

Lordie!

The nativity went as well as could be expected really. Niall and Adam behaved perfectly, the show was quite entertaining and the competitive mums lined the front row with their cameras and camcorders. You could smell the money from them (sorry, can't help myself, I find them highly amusing!) Then a very odd thing happened.

Once the nativity was over and the school day at an end I was waiting at the infant entrance with the usual crowd of mums and dads. I hear behind me one dad saying how his daughter had refused to be the donkey as she had previously been a sheep, but Primary 2s don't get to participate in the nativity, they form the choir singing all the songs. Then this woman, standing near me, tells one of eldest Hobbits' friend's dad that her child was the donkey! I saw him look a bit confused, I don't know him that well, it is usually his wife who does the school run. But what a bizarre thing to do, claim your child is the donkey when it obviously wasn't (the donkey costume consisted of a mask held perfectly in front of his face until the singing started, then he waggled it about in time to the tunes!) Husband finds this hilarious, that the competitive mums (for she must be one) not only covet Mary and Joseph but also the lone Donkey! It was a weird turn to the day.

The Christmas spirit, though somewhat subdued, has appeared in the form of a visit to the German market (here is the kick, in Edinburgh!) Also the fact I spent the better part of today up to my eyes, quite literally, in wrapping paper.

Photo, Edinburgh Christmas Market 2006. Big Wheel and Hobbits on the Carousel.

A Turkey's Plea

C'mon you two, just hop over the fence and lift the latch on this door, please. I know what date is coming up, I know what it means for a bird like me, well, if it were up to me I would eat the goose, have you seen the size of her?

- The turkey gets desperate, don't worry, this turkey lives at Almondvalley Heritage Centre, he won't be on anyones plate this year.

Jingle Balls

Nope, it is just not happening this year.

Despite eldest hobbit being the donkey in the school nativity. Despite youngest hobbit being the "green" traveller in same nativity - does this mean he is powered by wind, he sure is. Despite having, as always, bought all the presents, wrapping paper and most of the Christmas dinner (pre-prepared, will I ever live this down?)

I CANNOT GET INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

Where is it?

Gone...

Usually I have the cards written on the 1st December, the menu planned and shopping list written soon after. With the boys at the excitable age of counting sleeps until the big day I should be relishing this time but nope, not one bit.

Maybe it will kick in later, oh hope of hopes. Next week, next Monday to be precise, I turn 35, this does not bother me too much, birthdays are birthdays and having one so close to Christmas has always been a bit of a curse ("Oh thank you Auntie for buying my Christmas and birthday present together, saved yourself some money there you cheapskate!") But since it started, every year on my birthday we have gone into Edinburgh to the German Christmas market.

Now these are not a patch on the real German ones, I highly recommend Wiesbaden if anyone is asking. The stalls are missing a certain something you can only get in mainland Europe, but I love going into Edinburgh anyway. If this doesn't inject that sense of joy then I don't know what will.

Oh and my plan to make friends and influence people has backfired. I join the school PSA only to be coersed (is that a word? It is if I say so) into a singalong with the rest of them on the last day of school. Shoot me now.

Oh Me Oh My Oh Midget

Okay so the month has started and one week has whizzed by nearly. Someone mentioned Christmas cards, oh mercy I haven't even started them. What is up with me this year, I am just not getting into this?

I haven't done my usual of having cards written and parcels, well, parcelled on the 1st December, even the decorations are somewhat muted. Certainly not the proliferation of bad taste that the neighbours have gone in for. At some point you need to step back, look at what you are doing and say enough.

Worse of all is the fact that I have bought a prepared stuffed chicken roast from a supermarket, not even free range! How many people will notice that the dinner this year is not as good as last, or will they even notice? Husband is confused, he has gone all out this year in buying my presents, and he is quite chuffed that for once he has the one-up on me, but doesn't understand why my little Christmas light hasn't gone on.

Eldest hobbit has been given the part of the donkey in the school nativity while youngest is a traveller (don't know if this is his way of saying he is a servant for one of the three kings?) I was expecting to be asked to do a costume but all I have been requested to provide is a dark t and pair of trousers.

All I need for Christmas is to see the look on my hobbits faces when they get their presents off of Santa.

My plan is to redeem myself by making Nigella's ham in coca cola on Boxing Day when it is just the four of us.