Monday, March 05, 2012

You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

Yesterday would have been my dad's 91st birthday.  Youngest Hobbit remarked that "Grandpa hasn't really died because I'll always remember him and he can be alive in my memories."  I hope that he knows this, I know he was aware of how much they loved him.  Often they would curl up on the sofa to look through photos or a picture book.

Today I brought mother home for a visit.  It is clear that her best place would be in a home, her mobility is such that anything else is potentially (rather likely) dangerous.

Of course this is a touchy subject.  My wish is that she is cared for.  I cannot offer the level of care she needs.  Some would say I'm dumping her by putting her in a home however anyone with any knowledge of caring for an elderly person, especially one you are closely related to, knows why that decision sometimes needs to be made.  It is something I would never expect any child of mine to do and I do believe it is almost cruel to expect it as it is such a huge responsibility for a family member to undertake.

I don't know if it can be understood as I can barely explain it properly.

I wish dad was still here and I wish things had gone differently.

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