The weather might have turned distinctly Mediterranean, the sun might be shining on Scotland but despite the light that old familiar darkness has come creeping in.
I can hold it at bay, I need to withdraw further than I already am (isolation is luckily a talent many only children possess). I shall sit in the sunshine, absorb that good Vitamin D while avoiding the burn. Quietly, assuredly I will hold my own counsel as I always do.
The flavour of this darkness is irrelevance, I feel irrelevant to all except my sons. Well I am irrelevant to all except my sons but the trick is to remember that. I keep my head and heart focused on that one thing that keeps me from being overwhelmed and swallowed completely. I don't matter to anyone but them and that has to be enough.