Friday, March 20, 2009

Its been a long time baby....

This year has, so far, been something made of chaos. I should really keep on track of things better but never mind. Days become weeks become months...wait, where is this going exactly? Jeez I'm full of nonsense sometimes - now actually.

To say my head has not been in the right place this year would be an understatement on the extremely massive scale. Needless to say the niggles in my life remain the same, in fact with an unbearable smugness that would drive a pacifist to violence they seem to be getting worse. At this fragment of time I couldn't care less. I have this whole situation with my dad still in hospital, coming this close to loosing him physically when mentally he has been gone from us for a while. It is amazing that, while I realise it would be a blessing for him I don't feel ready to say goodbye yet. Completely selfish and completely irrational.

The Hobbits remain a constant in my life, the anchor without who I would drift away. It may seem ridiculous to be so sentimental in this era of emotional detachment but I have long since stopped caring what others may think. Everything feels like a struggle, it is as though no one wants to do their job properly anymore. It takes less effort to do a job well but some take pride in being obstinately incompetent.

I isn't contagious.

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