45 at 45

1. I have synesthesia, in particular when I hear classical music. I have to tune in to it more than I used to and I don't often tell after getting odd looks when I'd describe the colours and shapes.
2. Reading has been my saviour.
3. I'm disappointed that I have never taken to opera and don't find it as moving or entertaining as many do. The storytelling alone should be the hook but maybe I'm not cultured enough.
4. As much as I love the views a fear of heights means I'll never climb a Munro. And I'm okay with that. Sort of.
5. My first name is not the one I started out with.
6. I love walking along beaches but absolutely hate sitting for any length of time on the sand.
7. I would have liked to live in a few different countries.
8. I can spend so long staring intently at a painting I make the security guards at the galleries nervous.
9. I have an addiction to Pinterest but it's an addiction I can happily live with.
10. I also have an addiction to art and stationery supplies and could easily blow a fortune on them.
11. I don't have a fortune and while money isn't a driving factor it would still be nice to have some.
12. For longer than was necessary I truly believed that tv Christmas specials were filmed at Christmas.
13. Although I daydream of sunnier shores I adore crisp, frosty days.
14. I sometimes forget to say thank you and it bugs me for the rest of the day. 
15. Little Red Riding Hood gave me a fear of werewolves that I didn't get rid of until I was older than I should have been! (Yes, I knew they weren't real but the human element...)
16. I'm not too keen on crime fiction but adore Nordic noir. In fact, anything Nordic will do. I watch so much of it I really should be fluent in at least Swedish by now.
17. My tolerance levels have dropped alarmingly.
18. The background scenes of traditional ballets, especially set in forests, have always captured my imagination to the point of distraction.
19. When I was 25 I threw out all my diaries and stories I had written.
20. I gave up drawing and sketching after school and only started again a few years ago.
21. After my dad's death, I found he'd kept old school jotters of mine and a poem I wrote aged 7.
22. I like being part of Europe and hate the thought of where we're headed outside of the EU. In fact, I feel more European than Scottish and I don't feel British at all.
23. I wish I wasn't interested in politics.
24. Knowing that I've made an almighty mess of things I'm hyper-vigilant that my sons do what they want - they just tell me to chill out.
25. I find chilling out impossible sometimes.
26. Being an only child meant I had social quirks that led to bullying because I was different.
27. If I could travel back in time I'd like to redo the 90s and make some changes.
28. The one thing that absolutely sends me insane is being accused of something I didn't do.
29. Sometimes I wish I had done it. Might as well.
30. I want to travel more, a lot more.
31. I'm partially deaf due to two bouts of measles, followed by mumps and then chicken pox at age 8. Any background noise and it's a struggle to distinguish voices so lots of polite nodding goes on. 
32. I missed most of that year of schooling but read an enormous amount of books. School wasn't my favourite place to be so although I was sick, I got to spend my time reading books and comics and watching tv so was happy.
33. For this age, I am nowhere near as successful as I should be. 
34. I am my own worst enemy.
35. When we were 9 one of my friends and I wrote to Jim'll Fix It - so glad we never got a reply!
36. My eldest and I both like to win an argument, this makes for some interesting debates.
37. Saturday's child works hard for a living - don't I know it.
38. My favourite colour is the deep blue of a winter sky when the full moon is out.
39. That's hard to describe so I usually just say purple. (Yes, indigo is close but not quite).
40. I do my best, it's often not good enough.
41. Once upon a time I was a terrible optimist, I must have been so annoying!
42. I will always regret never having another baby but I am happy with my two so maybe what I mean is I wish I could time travel back to spend time with them as babies again. Actually, that is what I mean.
43. I have dyscalculia but didn't find out until my mid-twenties, I thought I was just stupid.
44. I despise people who put others down, who make others feel inferior or worthless.
45. Even if you've been patient enough, or mad enough, to read this list - no one really knows me.