I have been wondering, and decided that sometimes, when things aren't going according to a badly laid out plan then to find a way to look to the future offers some comfort.
Does that make sense?
Nothing I do seems to.
I have an uphill struggle at the moment and many people relying on me and me alone to see them through this.
I hide myself away in my stitching, in my writing and other past-times. At this moment I could probably finish my current OU course in one week but not do very good at it for that rush. Plus as I will be on holiday when the final exam is on, and the resit isn't until April, then there is no need to hurry just to fill my mind with other things.
This year so far I have: arranged a funeral for the first time ever, started the process of selling a house, started the process of buying a house - again neither of which I've done before and this all on my own as my mother has decided that I can replace my dad in the grand scheme of things as organiser of everything, and I only now realise how much he actually did. All this and I still haven't really had time to grieve for my dad. I have a feeling I'll get on holiday and just slump into a heap.
So I've decided on asking for a little *divine* help. No, I've not decided to believe in the God of the riches, never will I sign on to what is no more than a continuation of the ancient Roman society (no I've not gone mad - close, but not quite) in the form of religion. Instead I've returned to my old hobby and hopefully will get some answers - not a crystal ball but not far off.