Poo Bum Sticks

So, looks like once again luck is not on my side, or anywhere near my side, or even within spitting distance.

As far as I can tell we will be staying put. The one thing that would have made my life and that of the Hobbits so much nicer is once again out of reach and it is so frustrating, so horribly frustrating that I could just burst.

Not ideal. In fact very far from ideal. But what should I expect? It seems to be my lot in life that the easiest path is the one denied. While others seem to glide through life enjoying this and that I get the shitty end of the stick.

It is hard to see the good side in things at the moment, it is very hard to see anything at the moment.

Patrick Swuzzle AND Keith Floyd! No!

In one day...

and the celebrity death year carries on with haste.

A Vision Of Inside My Mind At The Moment

Artsy Fartsy and a Day at the Beach

This week I joined a new and odd club at the Hobbit's school. An art club for parents. Well, I thought it would be a room full of earnest artists scrutinising their daubing on easels (the paintings would be on the easels naturally and not the artists.) Of course it was all mums, and as we got cramp sitting on seats made for six-year-olds our art was to make hand print self portraits.

And you know.

It was actually really good fun. The hour whizzed by, it was so amazingly relaxing and nice. I'm thinking this must be what the Stitch and Bitch groups are like. The art might have made our little ones jealous but there are other projects to hand. Some might sneer at a group of grown women hunched over paper gluing on bits of glitter and feathers but sod them, it was light-hearted because we were doing something we would do with our children. There were thankfully no show off snobs.

Next one is on Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it.

Don't have a picture of that but do have a picture of Andrex II on the beach at Kinghorn during a Guide Dog puppy takeover day. Okay, there were only three and one pet dog but still, much fun was had rolling about the surf and sand.

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember wherever there is a good looking,sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are hard.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

RIP Ted Kennedy

...and the Celebrity Death Year continues...

Humdrum

Hobbits: back to school, happy, contented.

Moving house: on hold while lawyers prove that snails are not the slowest things around.

Life: see above.

The weather is meh. Am feeling pretty meh. At least the pup keeps me entertained.

I still have a lot to do but getting the enthusiasm to do anything is hard.

Evidence that in some respects I have no patience.

99 Things

Things you've already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to - leave in plain font

1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band
4. visited hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more than you can afford to charity
7. been to disneyland/world
8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis
10. sang a solo
11. bungee jumped
12. visited paris
13. watched a lightning storm at sea
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the mona lisa in france
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb
26. gone skinny dipping
27. run a marathon
28. ridden a gondola in venice
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset
31. hit a home run
32. been on a cruise
33. seen niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. seen an amish community - well not the community but Amish people take the Greyhound bus a lot so I saw them there and they are lovely people.
36. taught yourself a new language
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person
39. gone rock climbing
40. seen michelangelo's david in person
41. sung karaoke
42. seen old faithful geyser erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant - I bought a homeless man a McD's once?
44. visited africa
45. walked on a beach by moonlight
46. been transported in an ambulance
47. had your portrait painted - not painted but drawn as in a cartoonist!
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the sistene chapel in person
50. been to the top of the eiffel tower in paris
51. gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud
54. gone to a drive-in theatre
55. been in a movie
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies - it is just as well I live in the US so I can answer these ones!
62. gone whale watching - see above!
63. gotten flowers for no reason - there is always a reason!
64. donated blood
65. gone sky diving
66. visited a nazi concentration camp
67. bounced a cheque
68. flown in a helicopter
69. saved a favorite childhood toy
70. visited the lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar
72. pieced a quilt
73. stood in times square
74. toured the everglades
75. been fired from a job
76. seen the changing of the guard in london
77. broken a bone
78. been on a speeding motorcycle
79. seen the grand canyon in person
80. published a book
81. visited the vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper
85. read the entire bible
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. saved someone’s life
90. sat on a jury
91. met someone famous
92. joined a book club
93. lost a loved one
94. had a baby
95. seen the alamo in person.
96. swum in the great salt lake.
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee - and a wasp, and a spider! I get the hint.

Its A Little Bit Like That Today

After a lovely time at the Edinburgh Book Festival thanks to the generousity of a lovely person I was all set for some time to myself today. My mother was staying over for that purpose although she had the duty of puppy sitting in the morning.

Well, that was before Eldest Hobbit began decorating the living room with copious amounts of icky sick.

Lord knows what or why but first the sofa got it, then the rug. By this time he was in the bathroom terrifying the cats with strange and horrible sounds. There is not much to do other than offer comfort and checking constantly that he wasn't developing anything worse.

After being sick for the umpteenth time at sometime beyond 1am he turned to me and said "Its been a terrible night!"

Funny how the silly things can raise a smile during the worst of times.

He is all better now thankfully, school starts on Tuesday. Yippee!

xkcd

RIP John Hughes

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

*So far this is turning into Celebrity Death Year - who is next?

If I Wish Reeeaaalllyyy Hard...

...then tomorrow I *won't* get a phone call from the garage during the day telling me that my car needs x, y and expensive z done to it.

It would be a miracle, same as if the Hobbits ever tidied their room from the current bombsite it is to something reasonable.

Also, it is interesting that today, while out and about, the little cough I have because I am so run down and low on batteries seems to cause alarm in those around me. Schadenfreude would find it very funny, and keep coughing. Or maybe add a sneeze or two in.

Its One Small Step For Hobbits

A well know fact in this house anyway, is the Hobbits love for Space.

Anything to do with Space, planets, the universe, black holes etc. etc.

Considering that in the 40 years since humans first littered up the moon with their footprints there hasn't been as much progress as one would think there would have been who knows what it will be like when they are older. Youngest Hobbit would very much like to be an astronaut and go bobbing about in the great out there.

As Eldest Hobbit still fancies being a pilot (though guess who was better at the flight simulator at the Museum of Flight on our last visit? *cough* ahem, ahem) then he could always fly his brother to the stars.

But I have signed them up to this brilliant idea!

No matter what, at least they will get to Mars, if only by name!

Life In Pause

So, while the summer holidays roll (and roll and roll and roll) on things have come to a stand still.

Although my mother's house sold pretty damn fast considering, and we got more than we thought we would, thanks to old-fashioned considerations we have to wait for the house to be transferred from my dad's name to hers. As this is in the hands of the solicitors and courts, the only way to do it unfortunately, it will take time.

Everyone and their dog has applied for an Open Market Equity thingy, so there is a 12 week wait to hear whether or not we are successful, and if we are not - well, I suppose we could afford somewhere in Poland if not.

Therefore everything has ground to a stand still.

I had hoped to be moved next month, I hope to all the gods and fates and destiny that the house we want doesn't sell in the meantime. Maybe things will all fall into place, I can only hope and hope and hope. It is difficult when everyone relies on me and maybe I'm just not up to it.

To Know Or Not To Know

I have been wondering, and decided that sometimes, when things aren't going according to a badly laid out plan then to find a way to look to the future offers some comfort.

Does that make sense?

Nothing I do seems to.

I have an uphill struggle at the moment and many people relying on me and me alone to see them through this.

I hide myself away in my stitching, in my writing and other past-times. At this moment I could probably finish my current OU course in one week but not do very good at it for that rush. Plus as I will be on holiday when the final exam is on, and the resit isn't until April, then there is no need to hurry just to fill my mind with other things.

This year so far I have: arranged a funeral for the first time ever, started the process of selling a house, started the process of buying a house - again neither of which I've done before and this all on my own as my mother has decided that I can replace my dad in the grand scheme of things as organiser of everything, and I only now realise how much he actually did. All this and I still haven't really had time to grieve for my dad. I have a feeling I'll get on holiday and just slump into a heap.

So I've decided on asking for a little *divine* help. No, I've not decided to believe in the God of the riches, never will I sign on to what is no more than a continuation of the ancient Roman society (no I've not gone mad - close, but not quite) in the form of religion. Instead I've returned to my old hobby and hopefully will get some answers - not a crystal ball but not far off.

A Moment Of Zen

Bravery.

Courage.

Second Verse, Same As The First

Or should that title be - Oops I Did It Again!

After the departure of the previous Andrex lookey-likey, who is doing extremely well at the Guide Dog school (so named by the Hobbits and quite appropriately too), the *new* Andrex lookey-likey arrived this week.

So far so placid. Although he screams bloody murder at night when he realises everyone is in bed and not around to sleep on.

For this one I bought a pet-a-roo as seen thus =======>

Yes really. But as I can take him in to shops even at the tender age he is now, it makes it easier and is more comfortable for him. As he isn't allowed normal walks until he has his full vaccines (Guide Dogs give him some at 6 weeks for socialisation purposes) I don't mind playing Kanga to give him some outings.

First one was today. He didn't pee on me. So far so good.

The Heart of the Ocean Returned

In what can only be described as the weirdest of coincidences, yesterday, on the 98th anniversary of the launch of the Titanic, the last survivor died.

Of course, she won't have remembered it, being a little mite of only a few weeks old at the time but I suppose Millvina Dean would have spent her life in the shadow of the tragedy she survived. Her father died, as so many men did. Not the MD of the White Star Line though, in a selfishness that would fit in nicely now, he made sure he was fine.

Everyone has a fascination with this one disaster. Try thinking about it without that god-awful Celene Dion song though is difficult. Still...the fascination is of interest itself. And now there is no one left who spent that cold night drifting in the lifeboats.

Reality Bites

So tonight was the finale of Britain's Got Talent and did I watch it. Nope. Even though the lady with the teddy bear hair lives only a few miles from my door. I know she didn't win though, and I know who did. And why? Because these shows have become so much part of the fabric of every day life that the incidents and outcomes make the news.

Slow news day or no news day or catering for the masses?

Another point is this fascination with sticking the beak into people's family lives. I'll admit I've watched an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8. The idea of sextuplets is of curiosity, I know what two are like so triple that...Only the show seemed more about the mother, I am judgemental, I didn't really like her and it would seem that reality was not so much what was depicted as the concept behind the show. Okay, I'll be blunt, as is my want, she came across as a bit of a bitch and not exactly a warm and caring mother. That is entirely my opinion and I wouldn't expect anyone else to follow what I say.

Only there are people who watch these programmes, who become so involved with them that they get carried away in the lives of people with teddy bear hair or beaver tail hair. (I have a thing about hair at the moment as I'm trying to grow mine into some kind of reasonable mess.)

I suppose it is one way of ignoring all the horrible things that are going on at the moment, a form of escapism.

Its Not Over 'Til Its Over

This week, in fact in the next couple of days if I want a chance of actually passing the course, I need to send in the final exam for my OU Advanced Creative Writing course. It feels strange that I am sorry it is over.

Not my studies that is, but this is the last of the "literature" part to my degree. I've made friends on this courses who I will stay in contact with I hope. So much has happened. During my first writing course my marriage ended, during this one my father died. Perhaps I should be thankful there isn't another one to take.

I am not, though, I liked the deadlines pushing me on. I have to admit that I didn't enjoy this course as much as the Level 2 writing course, but I did enjoy the script writing aspect and have chosen that as the medium for my parting shot. Unlike the previous workbook I didn't feel as inspired by the exercises in the Advanced Creative Writing one but that is not the point. I know what I've always wanted to do and never had the courage to actually take the plunge and go forth and actually *do*. I wonder if it is too late, I hate the nagging devil on the shoulder who still chides that this is not for people like me. If I have stories to tell then surely it is for my own satisfaction to tell them - have I really not shaken that self-doubt that plagues my every second? Well no, of course not. Otherwise I would feel that this was more the jumping-board into further opportunities than the door closing with a final slam.